Journal Entry 1

Here’s what I put in my journal,

So, I am here! Can’t believe that it’s so gorgeous here! Tim and Lizzy let me keep sitting with Lizzy. Meds, relaxation tape, eye mask, pillow, made it so easy to just with you Lord. B/c I had to give over control to you. I had to b/c that tiredness and plane was you and me.
Everything here looks like Guatemala, feels like Guatemala. My stomach hurts and I don’t know why. I am so much better at the Redeemer than I was when I first started practicing. Lizzy said good job and Bryan said that I really have my timing down. I feel terrible that I can’t speak to people. How I wish that I could be like Liz. But like Lizzy and I were talking we may just need to realize that that we are just sowing seeds. We are to only play our part in everything.
I am tired and I don’t feel like I am doing my part here. I give you over that magical part that I wish would happen in all of this. Just like my Prince charming that I am praying so dearly for. I want to do your will in all of this Lord. I give up the need to change people and or instantly wanting to come to the rescue. I want to do your will, to know your purpose, what is all of it?

I give it all to you Lord. Not in I write this down and I halfway mean it sort of way. Away in when you reign supreme.